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【1】
Can the greatest romance of your life last only one night?
【12】
CELINE
Were you visiting friends, or just going around on your own?
JESSE
I visited a friend in Madrid for a while, but mostly I’ve just been…(new thought)
I got one of those Eurail passes, and you know what’s fascinating about traveling around? You spend all this time trying to reach your destination, you get there, you look around, it’s never exactly what you’d hoped, you head off somewhere else, and hope for something better.
CELINE
It’s like getting ready for a party, getting there, and falling asleep. That’s why when I’m traveling I kind of force myself not to expect anything from anywhere or anyone. And then, whatever happens is a surprise. The most insignificant thing can become an endless subject of interest, no?
JESSE
That’s what I like about traveling ---- you can sit down, maybe talk to someone interesting, see something beautiful, read a good book, and that’s enough to qualify as a good day.
You do that at home and everyone thinks you’re a bum.
【18】
JESSE
That's the trick. Life is not really about drama. That we all do the same shit and going to some market in Arabia is the same as going to Kmart in Miami. People believe they are missing out, that everyone else has this great and exciting life and they don't. I mean, we all have to get dressed, feed the kids, get our driver's license renewed, look up what time the afternoon matinee starts, lose ourselves in sex, routine, getting a little too drunk, buying a present for someone you don't like very much-- you feel guilty about not liking them, so you spend a little too much money.
【20】
CELINE
Yeah, I’d say to my dad I wanted to be a writer and he’d say journalist. I’d say I wanted to have a refuge for stray cats and he’d say veterinarian. I’d say I wanted to be an actress and he’d say TV newscaster. It was this constant conversion of my fanciful ambitions into practical moneymaking ventures.
【33】
JESSE
Look at this-- it's beautiful. I mean, could you imagine an American architect saying, "Hey, Bob, I've got an idea. Why don't we put a giant angel on top of this building just for people to have something beautiful to look at." It might start out like that, but before too long it'd be, "Sorry, Hank, boss said nix on the giant angel. He's thinking more along the lines of a flagpole.
CELINE
Americans always think Europe is perfect. But such beauty and history can be really oppressive. It reduces the individual to nothing. It just reminds you all the time you are just a little speck in a long history, where in America you feel like you could be making history. That's why I like Los Angeles because it is so...
JESSE Ugly?
CELINE
No, I was going to say "neutral." It's like looking at a blank canvas. I think people go to places like Venice on their honeymoon to make sure they are not going to fight for the first two weeks of their marriage because they'll be too busy looking around at all the beautiful things. That's what people call a romantic place-- somewhere where the prettiness will contain your primary violent instinct. A real good honeymoon spot would be like somewhere in New Jersey."
【77】
JESSE
You know what the worst thing about someone breaking up with you is? Remembering how little you really thought about the people you broke up with and realizing that's how little they're thinking about you. You like to think you are both in so much pain, but really they're just relieved you're gone.
【91】
CELINE
There was this famous writer - I don't remember who - who said the ideal relationship was two intense years, with clean breaks, fresh starts, friends for life, something like that. It's like if you knew your relationship had to end in two years, there would be no room for fighting or wasted time. There could be more love and appreciation for one another. It's like, if everyone you met you knew was going to die at midnight, you would be a much more compassionate person. I mean, everyone's going to die, but since no one knows when, there's all the time in the world to be assholes to one another.
(I was constantly talking about breaking up and acting like a jerk. In fact deep inside I didn't want to leave you at all. Subconsciously I thought you would feel the same way. There would be plenty of time for us to waste and to heal after getting hurt.
Unfortunately I was wrong. And we did use up all our luck and love. Even time cannot heal.)
【92】
JESSE
Why do we think that relationships are supposed to last forever anyway, and that anything less is a failure? (a beat) But I hate the thought that we're just these ships passing in the night. I think the only time I get depressed is when I feel that life is just this series of momentary connections. I mean, of all the people you've ever know, how many of them are still in your life in any way? What happened to all the people you grew up with?
【161】
CELINE ...
Memory is a wonderful thing if you don't have to deal with the past.
Maybe what I'm saying is, is the world might be evolving the way a person evolves. Right? Like, I mean, me for example. Am I getting worse? Am I improving? I don't know. When I was younger, I was healthier, but I was, uh, whacked with insecurity, you know? Now I'm older and my problems are deeper, but I'm more equipped to handle them.
【180】
CELINE ...
In the months leading up to my wedding, I was thinking about you all the time. I mean, even on my way there; I'm in the car, a buddy of mine is driving me downtown and I'm staring out the window, and I think I see you, not far from the church, right? Folding up an umbrella and walking into a deli on the corner of 13th and Broadway. And I thought I was going crazy, but now I think it probably was you.
【182】
CELINE
You know, I’m happy you are saying that. I mean, I always feel like a freak because I’m never able to move on like this…
(snaps her fingers)
People just have an affair or even a relationship, they break up and they forget, they move on like they would have changed brands of cereals.
I feel I was never able to really forget anyone I’ve been with, because each person has their own specific qualities, and you can never replace anyone. What is lost is lost.
Each relationship, when it ends, really damages me. I never really recover. That is why I’m very careful with getting involved, because it hurts me too much… or even getting laid – actually, I don’t do that. I will miss of the person the most mundane things. Like I’m obsessed with little things. Maybe I’m crazy. When I was a little girl my mom told me I was always late to school, so one day she followed me to see why I was late. I was looking at… chestnuts falling from the trees and rolling down the sidewalk or ants crossing the road, the way a leaf cast a shadow on a tree trunk – little things.
It is the same with people. I see in them little details so specific to each of them that move me, that I miss and will always miss. You can never replace anyone because everyone is made of such beautiful specific details.
CELINE (continued)
You know, like I remember the way your beard had a bit of red in it and the way the sun was making it glow in the morning right before you left. I missed that. Shit, I’m really crazy.
JESSE
Now I know for sure why I wrote that stupid book – so you might actually show up at a reading in Paris and I’d walk over to you and ask, “Hey, where the fuck were you?”
CELINE laughs.
【191】
CELINE
Couples are so confused now. Men need to feel essential, and they don’t feel that way anymore because it was imprinted in their heads for so long that they had to be a provider I’m a strong woman in my professional life. I don’t need a man to feed me, but I still need a man to love me and that I could love.
CELINE
For me, it’s better I don’t romanticize things as much anymore. I was suffering so much all the time. I still have lots of dreams, but they are not in regard to my love life. It doesn’t make me sad – it is the way it is.
JESSE
Is that why you are in a relationship with a man that is never around?
CELINE is a bit stung by his observation.
CELINE
Yes, obviously, I can’t deal with the everyday life of a relationship. We have this exciting time together, and then he leaves and I miss him, but at least I’m not dying inside. When someone is always around me, I’m suffocating.
JESSE
Wait a second – you just said you need to love and be loved.
CELINE
Yeah, but when I do, it quickly makes me nauseous. It’s a disaster. I feel really happy only when I am on my own. Even being alone is better than sitting next to a lover and feeling lonely.
(getting mad)
It’s not so easy for me to be all romantic. You start off that way and after you’ve been screwed over a few times you just take whatever comes into your life. That’s not even true – I haven’t been screwed over, I’ve just had too many blah relationships. They were not mean, they cared for me, but there was no real excitement or connection, or at least not from my side.
She starts crying.
JESSE
I’m sorry. Are you really that unhappy?
CELINE
No, it’s not even that. I was fine until I read your fucking book – it stirred shit up. It reminded me how genuinely romantic I was, how I had so much hope in things and now I don’t believe in anything that relates to love. I don’t feel things for people anymore. It’s almost like in a way I put all my romanticism into that one night and I was never able to feel all this again. Somehow that night took things away from me, like I expressed them to you and you took them with you.
Somehow destiny not allowing me to see you again made me cold, like if love wasn’t for me.
JESSE
I can’t believe that.
CELINE
Reality and love are almost contradictory for me. It’s funny, every one of my exes are now married. Men go out with me, we break up, and then they get married. Later they call me to thank me for teaching them what love is, that I taught them to care and respect women.
JESSE
Yeah, I may be one of those guys.
CELINE
I want to kill them! Why didn’t they ask me to marry them? I would have said no but at least they could have asked! But it’s my fault. I never felt it was the right man, never. But what does that mean, the right man?! The love of your life? The concept is absurd. The idea that we can only be complete with another person is evil.
JESSE
Can I talk?
CELINE
I guess I’ve been heartbroken too many times and then recovered. Now from the start I make no effort because I know it’s not gonna work anyway.
JESSE
You can’t do that – spend your life trying to avoid pain at the expense of engaging.
CELINE
Those are words. You know what? I got to get away from you. Stop the car. I want to get out.
JESSE
No, wait. Let’s keep talking about it.
CELINE
No, it’s just being around you.
JESSE takes her arm.
CELINE (continued)
Don’t touch me. I’m taking a cab.
JESSE
Listen, I’m just so glad to be with you, and that you didn’t forget me.
CELINE
No, I didn’t, and it pisses me off. You come here to Paris all romantic and married. Screw you! Please don’t get me wrong – I’m not trying to get you or anything. All I need is a married man. There’s been so much water under the bridge, it’s not even about you anymore. It’s about that time, that moment in time that is forever gone.
JESSE
You say all this stuff, but you didn’t even remember having sex.
CELINE
Of course I remembered.
JESSE
You did?
CELINE
Girls pretend things like that. What was I supposed to say – I remember the wine in the park, looking up at the stars fading while the sun came up? We had sex twice, you idiot.
JESSE
You know what? I’m just so happy to see you, even if you’ve become an angry manic-depressing activist. I still like you and enjoy being with you.
CELINE
And I feel the same. I’m sorry, I had to let it all out. I’m miserable in my love life, in my relationship. I always act like I’m detached, but I’m dying inside. I’m dying because I’m so numb. I don’t feel pain or excitement. I’m not bitter, I’m just…
JESSE
Oh, God, you think you are the one dying inside – my life is twenty-four/seven bad. The only happiness I get is when I’m out with my son. I’ve been to couples’ counseling, things I’d never thought I’d have to do. Bought self-help books, lingerie, lit candles…
CELINE
Did the candles help?
JESSE
Hell, no. I don’t love her the way she needs to be loved. I don’t even see a future for us, but then I look across the table at my beautiful boy and I think I would suffer any torture to wake up in his house and be with him for all the minutes of his life – I don’t want to miss out on that. But, man, there is no joy or laughter in my home, and I don’t want him growing up in that.
JESSE
I don’t want to be one of those people getting divorced at fifty-two, falling down into tears admitting that they never loved their spouse and feel like they’ve lost their life into a vacuum cleaner. I want a great life. I want her to have a great life – she deserves that. But we’re living in the pretense of marriage, responsibility, these ideas of how people are supposed to life. I have these dreams all the time…
CELINE
What dreams?
JESSE
I wasn’t going to say this, but I have these dreams where I’m standing on a platform and you keep going by on a train, again and again and again, and then I wake up with the fuckin’ sweat. And then there’s this other dream where you are pregnant beside me in bed naked and I want to touch you so bad, but you tell me not to and then you look away and I touch you anyway, right on your ankle, and your skin is so soft, and I wake up in sobs and my wife is sitting there looking at me and I am ten million miles from her and I know something is wrong and I can’t keep living like this. There’s got to be more to love than commitment. I have to tell you I put the whole idea of romantic love to bed when you weren’t there that day. I swore it off.
——————————————————————————————
【Jesse在Before sunrise时曾说】:
Alright, alright. Think of it like this. Umm-uh, jump ahead, ten, twenty years, okay, and you're married. Only your marriage doesn't have that same energy that it used to have, you know. You start to blame your husband. You start to think about all those guys you've met in your life, and what MIGHT have happened if you'd picked up with one of them, right? (Céline starts laughing a bit.) Well, I'm one of those guys. (Points at himself.) That's me, you know, so think of this as time travel, from then, to now, uh, to find out what you're missing out on. See, what this really could be is a gigantic favor to both you and your future husband, to find out that you're not missing out on anything. I'm just as big a loser as he is, totally unmotivated, totally boring, and, uh, you made the right choice, and you're really happy. (Motions toward the door with both thumbs, and mouths the words “Come on.”)
这一段曾给我“闭上双眼你最掛念谁,眼睛张开身边竟是谁”的慨叹,
而在后来的Sunset中,Jesse所描述自己的梦境与醒来时妻子似相隔万里的感觉,竟是跟歌词表述得一丝不差。
其实说到底,这不就是“得不到的在骚动”的证明么?
因為未曾得到过,便将一切美好的构想加诸于那个以”如果”开始的段落,而生活里必将经历的鸡毛蒜皮,最终将流于沉默或争吵,通通不在对于未曾发生却可能发生的构想里。
一旦你心不甘情不愿地放弃了什么,或错过了什么,那它必将成為你对一切的解释与藉口。
people always yean for what they can’t get by hand.
——————————————————————————————
【Céline在Before sunrise时说】:
So often in my life I've been with people and shared beautiful moments like travelling, or staying up all night and watching the sunrise, and I knew those were special moments. But something was always wrong. I wished I’d been with someone else. (They both laugh.) I knew that what I was feeling, exactly what was so important to me, they didn't understand. But I'm happy to be with you. You couldn't possibly know why a night like this is so important to my life right now, but it is...This is a great morning.
【在Before Sunset时说】:
I was fine until I read your fucking book – it stirred shit up. It reminded me how genuinely romantic I was, how I had so much hope in things and now I don’t believe in anything that relates to love. I don’t feel things for people anymore. It’s almost like in a way I put all my romanticism into that one night and I was never able to feel all this again. Somehow that night took things away from me, like I expressed them to you and you took them with you.
I’m miserable in my love life, in my relationship. I always act like I’m detached, but I’m dying inside. I’m dying because I’m so numb. I don’t feel pain or excitement. I’m not bitter, I’m just…
九年,在一个人的一生中也许是短暂的,但对于青春可以说是惊人的全部,从理想批判别人的不幸生活到自己深陷其中、难以挣脱,才发现生命中的美好原来只有那么多,失去了就失去了。
每一次仓促相逢,像是要为离别而燃尽的火焰,他们不停的走路、交谈,了解对方的生活,表明自己的观点,共同对抗着庸俗的爱情,同时又发现自己是多么的无能为力。
汽车上的情感迸发,狭小的空间内突然间充斥了怨恨和无奈,不知该如何安慰彼此,也许各自的不如意就是最好的安慰吧,两个心心相印的人再一次惺惺相惜,体会到的却不是温馨的甜蜜而是现实的残酷,让我陡然呆住了,不知如何是好。
It's about that moment in time that's forever gone.
——————————————————————————————
【最后我自己想说的】
个人更喜欢品读这些话语,因为想象的空间被无限放大。
也只有细心品读,体会,
你才会发现这所有所有的对话真的像镜子般,
说出来我们所有曾有过或正经历又或将有的恐慌和害怕。
某种程度上说这两部无论是书还是电影的内容都是不可分的,
Before sunrise让我们觉得生活中还有美好的东西,
而Before Sunset却是最无情的生活;
Before sunrise是梦幻般的夜,
而Before Sunset是现实的光天化日。
往后看时,日出之后还有新的一天,
而日落之后所余的,只是茫茫黑夜了。
事实上,时间可以带走很多东西,却仍带不走心中的小小期许吧。
这个世界尽管令人疲惫不堪,但它仍然存在着值得我们继续留恋之处,那就是日出日落之间,总有一些既令人心碎不已又美好得简直不敢相信自己眼睛的事情在发生。即使,它们稍纵即逝。
有过,便已知足,便应感谢。
Life's hard. It's supposed to be.
If we didn't suffer, we'd never learn anything.
香薰薇儿。
20120911。00:50 |
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