What I Wish I Knew When I Was 20 - 书评
《真希望我20几岁就知道的事》讲述蒂娜教授17岁的儿子即将进入大学，她意识到自己没能教给儿子足够的知识和技巧融入这个社会，取得成功，所以她回忆了自己20岁时想了解的事情——那些可以避免弯路和失败的宝贵经 ...此主题为自动生成的书评内容贴，书籍链接地址: http://www.dothinkings.com/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=13949
书评内容会自动聚合在本帖中 一本充满正能量的书，一本讲述了很多很多故事，这些故事中都有一个共通点，就是要去跳出自己的comfort zone，甚至需要强迫自己去比别人思考的更多，更深。
他并没有写出很多详细可以执行的计划，因为这个过程中的收获因人而异，我们需要学会失败，我们需要认识到事情的复杂性和不可控，但是也要付出100%的努力，因为这样才不会成为将来的遗憾。
这几个月，不管是主管原因，还是客观原因，我都处在一个不是自己的comfort zone的区域里面，真的超级超级累，很多很多时候脑子里会有一个小人跳出来说“别给自己找事了，什么也不做多好，没有这么些烦心事”，但最后，我觉得，在完成了一些自己都认为不可能的事情之后，我的信心的确提高了一点。 作者是斯坦福大牛，书中的观点都是一些积极向上、正面的建议，强调发奋图强、一分耕耘一分收获，讲的都是正道。这些道理适用于美国这种法治、廉洁的社会。但是当今的中国是乱世，太多不正当的事情。跑关系、走捷径、行贿成为很多人致富的手段。
按书中所说的，你只能在中国挣到白金——干净的钱，混一个温饱小康没问题。但如果要挣大钱，挣黑金，光靠走正道是不远远够的。sign... Some principle we actually know, but we apply not that more.
Execution & monitor is one crucial part of this:)
Inspiring is just step 1.
不仅要学会 turn lemon into lemonade, 还要take a step further, turn lemonade into helicopters. Turn the challenge and problems into opportunities, catch the opportunities and turn into snow-ball like sucess.
Self-reinforcing prophecy和态度互相循环决定你对待世界的方式。
Don't judge too quickly and don't take yourself too seriously. Your title is not your value. Really, Don't judge too quickly also, even the worst idea could be a great potential. Maybe the crazier, the better in the long run..
Failure is the secret sauce of Sillicon Valley. It's simply part of the learning process. It's natural. Even quitting is incredibly empowering, it remind u that you are the master of yourself. Sometimes, quitting is not a sign of weakness, on the contrary, it requires you to face your failures and announce them publicly. Also, it allows you to put your energy into the best use. Afterall don't forget, put log into water, it'll be a wet log, but put it into the flame, it'll be an inferno,
Failure is inevitable. And the key to success is not dodging every bullet but being able to recover quickly. It remind me of Jeremy Lin, who was said to failed more time than others on the times he tried on put the basketball into the court but because he tried a lot so he also score a lot more.
Failure isn't fun but it force us to reevaluate our goals and priorities,and often propel us much faster than continued success. We live on theedge of failure and success, oftentime, a little extra push is all it take to cross the line to the bright side. It's a winner take all society, all you need is really just, a , little, extra, push. Think about the Tour de France. Right?
Also, learning from others can significantly reduce your failure rate. If you happen to take a risk and fail, remember your personally is not a failure. Failure is external. This perspective will allow you to get up and try again and again.
Failure is a natural part of learning process. If you aren't failing sometimes, than you aren't taking enough risks.
Try to make your passion intersect or totally overlap your education, your work. Then you'll put your passion, energy and time into them, aka, it. Then you'll be the master of the art of living.
知人善用。要让每个人都觉得他们的工作很简单，让他们的才能得到最大的发挥。Pain the target around the arrow. Also, don't be afraid to reach out to people. Act positively. Don't wait others to reach to you. Showing appreciation for what others have done for you. Because everything they done for you has an opportunity cost. The world is small.
Take a far and long goal is better than several nuanced goals. 因为1，条条大路通罗马。不一定要通过这些小目标，这样有了更大的flexibility, 也给了更多的发现额外机会的可能。 GOOGLE老总说的哦。
Life is not a zero sum game full of competition. Life can be a win-win game where everyone benefit.
Removing the cap. Don't lock yourself up in the prison you built yourself and reach your true potential. Going beyond minimum expectations and acknowledging that you are ultimately responsible for your actions and the resulting outcomes. Life is not a dress rehearsal, and you won't get a second chance to do your best.
Give yourself permission. Look at the world with fresh eyes like a foreigner, to experiment,t o fail, to plot your course, and to test the limits of your abilities.
We determine how we face the world. The world is filled with both flowers and flaws, it's up to you to embrace which. Tina Seelig is the kind of people you love to hear story from. With the gumption of following her passion and confounding other's expectation, she graduated with of a PhD of neuroscience but opted for a management career path and successfully became a "fabulous" entrepreneur. As she mentioned in this book, she always encourages her students to "never miss a chance to be fabulous". In this book "What I wish I knew when I was twenty" she told stories of how she and amazing people she met becoming fabulous.
Half way through the book, I've found the content of the book is slightly less captivating than its title. Some of the advises in the book I’ve already heard from elsewhere, such as " to find a role in the world that doesn't feel like work"; "the harder you work, the luckier you get";"you can make your own destiny by focusing on your goals and working incredible hard" have been repeated so many times I almost found them of being a little bit cliche. Although not being original enough, the book certainly made me have a tighter grip on these mantras of advices, because Seelig always introduces them by relating anecdote or memorable jokes which are are equal inspirational and insightful as those mantra, if not more.
Most of the motivation books or blogs love to enshrine deeds of hard work and perseverance, not that they are not important, but we have to admit that we've certainly seen failure befall people who were hard working and persevering. Writing this book for her son, Seelig clearly didn't want his son devoid the sense of reality. She devoted some of her ink on subjects like how personal success usually having to depend on market, how to prepare for failure, and how to decide when to quit. This is my favor part of the book, it reminds me something I read from another book saying people should write fewer books on why they succeed, but write more on why they fail; because people have to realize that their success always have to do with luck and timing which readers couldn't copy, but readers could learn how not to repeat their mistakes.
Rest assured it is not one of those books about how to be rich or successful, but rather about finding your true calling and prioritizing your life to live the fullest, which theme, I have to say, is much more beneficial and admirable than the former one.
the author shares fascinating examples, of individuals defying expectations, challenging assumptions, and achieving amazing success in this book.
i am in my 20s right now, and i consider myself fortunate to read this book about how to throw out the old rules and provide a new model for reaching our highest potential,how to have a healthy disregard for the impossible, how to recover from failure, and how most problems are remarkable opportunities in disguise.
I knew these sort of things when i was 20, so, what will happen and what shall i turn out to be? Perhaps nothing will happen without actually implementing all the inspiring advices and tips.
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readingnote for future review:
★(my favourite)
★1.First, opportunity are abundant.At any place and time you can look around and identify problems that need solving. The bigger the problem, the bigger the opportunity. Nobody will pay you to solve a non-problem.
Second, regardless of the size of the problem, there are usually creative ways to use the resources already at your disposal to solve
them. An entrepreneur is someone who is always on the lookout for problems that can be turned into oppourtunities and finds creative ways to leverage limited resources to reach their goals.
third, we so often frame problems too tightly. we should step back and look at the problem more broadly.
2.Gracefully bridging that gap to tackle real-world challeges can be extremely difficult, but it;s doable with the right tools and mind-set.
★3.After you leave school, you are you own teacher, charg with figuring out what you need to know, where to find the information, and how to absorb it. In fact, real life is the ultimate open book exam.
★4.In fact, failure is an important part of life's learning process. Just as evolution is a series of trial-and-error experiments, life is full of false starts and inevitable stumbling. The key to success is the ability to extract the lessons our of each of these experiences and to move on with that new knowledge.
5.It's helpful to know that we don't have to be right the first time. Life presends everyone with many opportunities to experiment and recombine our skills and passions in new and surprising ways.
6.It's much more comfortable to stay locked in a role that's "good enough" than to reach for an alternative that has a higher degree of uncertainty.Most of us are content taking small,reliable steps. We don't get very far, but we don't rock the boat either.
★7. If your goal is to make meaning by trying to solve a big problem in innovative ways, you are more likely to make money that if you start with the goal of making money, in which case you will probably not make money or meaning,.
8.The concept that there are no bad idea is a hallmark of good brainstorming, You need to break with the assumption that ideas need to be feasible in order to be vaulable.
9.Since everyone in the room had a chance to participate and witnessed the emergence and evolution of all the ideas, there is usually shared support for the ideas that go forward implementation.
10.it is important to remember that idea generation involves exploration of the landscape of possibilities. The goal is to break the rules by imaging a world where the laws of nature are different and all constraints are removed. At that time you can view the idea with a more critical.
11.At the very least they got useful customer feedback and at best they found a new employee.
★12,Some rules are in place to protect our safety, to keep order, and create a process that works for a large number of people. But it is worth questioning rules alone the way.
Another way to break the rules is to break free of expectation you have for yourself and that others have for you.
★13.The well-worn path is there for everyone to trample. But the interesting thing often occur when you open to taking an unexpected turn, to trying something different, and when you are willing to question the rules others have made for you. All agreed that it is easy to stay on the prescribed path, but it is often much more interesting to discover the world of surprise lurking just around the corner.
★14.The more you experiment, the more you see that the spectrum of options is much broader than imagined. The sole rule is that you are limited only by your energy and imagination.
★15.Nobody told me i could do or should do this, I just did.
Over time, i have became increasingly aware that the world is divided into people who wait for othersto give them permission to do the things they want to do and people who grant themselves permission. Some look inside themselves for motivation and others wait to be pushed forward by outside forces.
16. One of the best ways to move from one field to another is to figure out how your skills can be translated into different setting.
★17.Those willing to strech the boundaries of their current skills and willing to risk trying something new are much more likely to be successful than those who believe they have a fixed skill set and inate abilities that lock them into specific roles.
18. Ifyou study each situation with an eye for improvement, you will find countless opportunities. It is then up to you to decide if you will put yourself in the position to take on that challenge.
19.People who get to the top work harder than those around them, they have more energy that propels them forward, and they are markedly more driven to get there.
★20. If you want a leadership role, then take on leadership roles. Just give yourself permission to do so. Look around for holes in your organaztion, ask for what you want, find ways to leverage your skills and experiences, be willing to make the first move, and stretch beyond what you have done before.
It takes hard work, energy, and drive--but these are the assets that set learder apart form those who wait for others to anoint them
21.I wish i had found a way to better align our goals.
22. i learned that there are some things you can't undo, and that in situations such as these i should do what is right for me, not neccessarily what others want me to do.
★23. You can read as many books on leadership as you want, but until you experience the challenges that face real leaders, you will never be prepared to take charge.
★24.Quitting is actually incredibly empowering . It's a reminder that you control the siuation and can leave whenever you like. We are taught that quitting is a sign of weakness, although in many circustances , it;s just the opposite. Sometimes quitting is the bravest alternative, because it requires you to face your faliures and announce them publicly.
So quitting is hard--but it's even harder to do it well. Failure is inevitable, and that the key to success is not dodging every bullet but being able to recover quickly.
25.It's important to know whether you are putting energy into something that has the potential to pay off.
26.If you get out there and try lots of things, you are much more likely to find success than someone who waits around for the phone to ring.
★27.The fact that learing from others can significantly reduce your failure rate. You don't have to figure everything out yourself.Like Stanley,you should gather all the data you can from your enviroment, and then tap intio the wisdom of those who have gone before you, in order to make the best possilbe choice. All you need to do is look around to see hundreds , if not thousands , of role models for every choice you plan to make.
★28.If you do take a risk and happen to fail, remember that you personally are not a failure. The failure is external. This perspective will allow you to get up and try again and again. Keep in mind that failure is a natural part of the learning process. if you aren't failing sometimes. then you probably aren't taking enough risks.
29.Passions are just a starting point. You also need to know your talents and how the world values them.
30.After scanning the horizon for other options, it became pretty clear that he would fit weel into the world of management cosulting.
★31.It's important to keep experimenting ,trying lots of things until you find out what works. Being too set on your path too early will likely lead you in the wrong direction,
★32There are so many unexpected experiences ahead that it's best to keep your eyes open instead of blinding yourself to the serendipitous options that might present themselves.
The road ahead,however, is always fuzzu and full of boundless uncertainly. It's easy to get frustrated by the lack of visibility ahead. You can, however, do things to increase the odds that great opportunities will come your way.
33.It's both physically and emotionally demanding, and incredibly time comsuming.
★★34.Finding the right roles requires experimenting alone the way, trying lots of different alternatives, testing the messages you get both explicitly and imexplicitly from the world, and pushing back on those that just don't feel right.
As you move through your career, you wll be well served by frequently reassessing where you are and where you want to go. Doing so allows you to make course corrections quickly,expecially when things don't turn out as lanned or exceptional new opportunities arise. And finally, be wary of all career advice, including mine, as you figure out what's right for you.
★35. Even if there's a low probability of success and a tremendous amount of competition, you can maximize your chances by being well prepared physically, intellectually and emotionally.
36.You never know when your experiences will prove to be valuable.
★37.Things about how you want to tell the story in the future is a great way to assess your response to dilemmas in general. Craft the story now so you'll be proud to tell it later.
★38.In general, to negotiate effectively you should work to understand your own goals as well as the goals of the other party,attempt to come up with a win-win outcome,and know when to walk away.
When you ask others if you can help, they are always pleased that you offered. Even when you turn them down, they are grateful that you offered and graciously accept the fact that you are't able to help.
★39.And do the right thing as opposed to the smart thing, so you'll be proud to tell your story later. Finally, don't take on too much, lest you disappoint yourself and those who count on you.
★40.Making excuses , or giving reasons for not delivering, is socially acceptable because it make you sound "reasonable". But even if you feel obliged to make excuses to others,you shouldn't makethem to yourself.
You are in charge of your own life. You have no excuse for delivering anything short of your best effort at all times.
★41 Being fabulous comes in many falvors, but it all starts with removing cap and being willing to reach for your true potential. This means going beyond minimum expectations and acknowledgeing that you are ultimately responsible for your action and the resulting outcomes. Life isn't a dress rehearsal, and you won't get a second chance to do your best.
★★42.We should not take ourselves too serious or judge others too harshly.
43.Your power comes from the position you hold. When you are no longer in that position, all that goes with it quickly fades away. Therefore, you should not define yourself by your current position nor believe all your own press. Savor the spotlight when you have it, but be ready to yield center stage when it's time to go.
★★★44. Uncertainty is the essence of life, and it fuels opportunity.To be honest, there are still days when i am not sure which road to take and am overwhelmed by the coices unfolding in front of me. But i now know that uncertainty is the fire that sparks innovation and the engine that drives us forward.
I experinced in my twenties when i looked ahead, not knowing what lay around the next curve. I wish someone had told me to embrace that uncertainty.The most interesting things happen when you get off the predictable path, when you challenge assumptions, and when you give yourself permission to see the world as opportunity rich and full of possiblity.
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I share one saying in the book " Never miss an opportunity to be fabulous" for everyone looking to make their mark on the world.
Andgood luck ：）
2011.12.14 by hammer There was once a man named Goldberg who wanted nothing more than to be rich. So each day he went to the synagogue and prayed to God to win the lottery. This went on for days, weeks, months, and years, but Goldberg never won. Eventually, Goldberg was at his wit's end. Praying to God, he said, "You have really let me down." Suddenly the silence was broken and God responded in a booming voice, "Goldberg, you've got to help me out here. You could at least buy a ticket!"
This is a joke from Tina Seelig's book What I Wish I Knew When I was 20.
While laughing to myself, I was ashamed of myself, for this joke drives home an understanding that perseverance, specific goals and unswerving faith are worth zilch without the actual doing and I have the first three but the last keys.
I am perseverant and strong-willed and I do have a list of goals that I wanted to accomplish in 2011. Yet how many have I achieved in the last 8 months? Not many.
Why? Because I didn't even set off toward my goals in actuality.
I was also very ashamed of myself falling into the trap of incorrect assumption so easily that Goldberg must have bought a lottery ticket even though this was not mentioned in the story.
Even though I have been educated for years to be wary of making presumption/assumption, I guess I am still inclined to do it all the time, for some knowledge has been there all along that I simply forget that it could and should be a premise to be quesitoned.
Why do I have such a strong propensity? I am asking myself as I'm typing here. I guess it's because these assumptions makes my life easier. They enable you to make immediate decisions and reactions.
Is making assumptions/presumptions invariably a bad thing?
I doubt it. It is also a premise that could be challenged after all, isn't it?
很浅显的一本书，英文不难。高中以上应该都看得懂。
讲得道理也很简单，但是举的实例很能说服人。
这样的讲述比起那些灌输式的教科书更能打动人。
真不愧是送给儿子20岁的礼物，如果我今年20岁，那我的30岁肯定与今天不同。 Tina 是我最重要的朋友和人生导师，五年来她一直无私地激励并帮助我，也教会了我许多人生哲理。她是个永远忙碌，缺乐于其中的人，大学时换了5次专业，读完脑外科博士却决定不从事本专业，开过公司，做过咨询师，当过出版商，她永远在追寻自己的心，永远都很快乐和积极。
另外，书里有写我，吼吼吼！
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